Vermillion Kisses

Once upon a time

A very handsome prince was walking along Dead Man's Trail

Morning had just about broken

And the wings of tiny birds cut through the rays of the sun

Casting slithering shadows as they went about their pleasure

The handsome prince was preparing to engage in this splendour

When all of a sudden he noticed a beautiful

And quite voluptuous maiden travelling towards him in slow motion

\"Oh my god \"

Thought the handsome prince with shameful excitement

\"she's incredible and so very stimulating \"

As the beautiful maiden approached him

He gathered all of his resources plucked up courage

And gave her one of his special curtseys

That would hopefully see him in with a chance

When he realised she was very tearful if not completely crushed

The handsome prince swallowed a wave of guilt

As the beautiful maiden now openly stood before him

Sobbing her heart out

Realising something was terribly wrong

The handsome prince put all of his hang-ups on the shelf and asked:

\"What are you so inconceivably sad about if I may be so bold to enquire \"

The beautiful maiden gave a big sigh

Which seemed to last a lifetime

As the handsome prince sat on the edge of his metaphorical seat

In preparation for her answer

She announced:\"I've just seen my therapist

Who's convinced I have a borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits

Which means I'll be unhappy all my life

As nobody will be able to measure up to the fantastically high standards

That I just can't help but impose on them \"

The handsome prince's heart exploded with joy

As in this moment he fell strangely and completely in love

\"Why that's outrageous who is this doctor of misery \"

The beautiful maiden had broken into the tiniest of smiles

And on seeing she had the handsome prince by the short and curlies

She began to weave a little magic here and a little magic there

\"I've never met anyone like you before

Not only are you compassionate

You're also very handsome

I've lost my purse and the keys to my hovel

And it looks like storm and I was wondering \"

The Handsome Prince floundered slightly then ejaculated:

\"You're so very beautiful

I think I might die if I don't invite you to my castle

At the end of this trail \"

\"Would you like to kiss me my handsome prince \"

His knees began to knock as he lent

Towards the voluptuous maiden in implicit expectation

When they kissed

The handsome prince felt a wave of nausea

And a pain in his chest as blood began to now pour from it

And the tiny birds dipped in the morning light and said

\"goodbye\" to the handsome prince

Who folded into a heap on Dead Man's Trail

The beautiful maiden exclaiming: \"Ah there is one born every minute \"