The Jazz Discharge Party Hats

The Jazz Discharge Party Hats - Frank Zappa

Once upon a time

It was in Albuquerque New Mexico

There were these girls that worked at the college

The were really cool

(They thought so anyway)

The would be delighted to tell you how suave they where

At the drop of a hat

There was three of 'em:

One of them thought she was a Beauty Queen

The other one was a Walking Blow-Job

And then there was this skinny girl

Oh well

Some of the guys in the band got together

With the girls from the college

They were having a good time

(We were in Alburquerque for a couple of days)

But these girls thought they were Hot Shit

'N wouldn't pooch the guys in the band

On the first day so

A couple of the guys in the band

Who were desparate for THAT KIND OF ACTION

Kept workin' on 'em for two days

(Which is a waste of f**kin' time anyway )

So anyway

But if that's your idea of a good time what the hey

Send those pants up here

Here's some more

Okay good-good

Traditional cotton oh how sweet

Umf huh-huh-huh-huhhh

HERE Work these

Anyway

We're in Albuquerque New Mexico

A couple of the guys in the band who shall go nameless

Because their girlfriends might find out

Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls

From the college

So one night it was the first night

When they were still trying to 'get it in there'

(Ya know what I mean Huh-huh-huh-huh )

The skinny girl she says to one of the guys in the band

She says well to several of the guys in the band

And one of the T-shirt guys too

\"HEY LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING \"

At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel

That's right your heard right

Two o'clock in the morning pool at the hotel

It was so fun

But the water was very very cold

So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny

'N' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes

Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool

And she says \"HEY GUYS COME ON IN \"

Well one of them did

The other one was too smart for that shit

So him and the T-shirt guy say by the edge of the pool

And when the girl who was really skinny

(And insensitive to climatic changes)

Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool

She threw her pants over there by the little table

Well one of the guys in the band picked up het panties

He told me later the stuff in the bottom

Was like punching an eclair

Anyhow there was nothing else to do

It was Alburquerque New Mexico

It's two o'clock in the morning

They're not going to get any nooky anyway

So this one guy and the T-shirt guy

Started sniffing the girl's panties

They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue

Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these

Delightful little morsels

Some of you might think this is weird

No wonder It's not exactly normal but

What the f**k

So they're snorting it

Hey It's the twentieth century

Whatever you can do to have a good time let's get on with it

So long as it doesn't cause a murder

So they're snorting the pants

'N' then they put them on their heads

They were having a good time

The girl was in the water she didn't even see

What was going on with her underpants

They were wearing the pants

It looked just like a tiny little party hat

Their ears were sticking out the side it was so fun

Later on they discovered

This would make a great way of life for them

They would go from town to town looking for panties

They would take the panties after they were hung up

On the clothes line

Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room

They would play with them

They would fetish the underpants

They would snort every little morsel attached

To the underpants and then they would feel that

They were FULFILLED

And so you can see

That what we're doing here on stage

Is part of a Great American Tradition

The tradition of the

JAZZ DISCHARGE PARTY HATS